Understanding Their
Everyday Lives

Your cat may look like a grown-up. It may be huge compared to a kitten, sexually mature, and perfectly capable of surviving on its own. But around you, something funny happens: a lot of its behavior is still kitten behavior.

Why? Because to a cat, you’re not just a roommate who pays rent and opens cans. You’re a substitute mother.

Mother cats lick their kittens, feed them, clean them, and protect them. When you pet a cat, that feeling is close enough to being groomed by Mom. So cats keep asking their humans for motherly attention—even old cats do it. They come over, look up at you with that needy expression, and wait for your hand to do the giant-tongue thing.

When you pet a cat, watch its body. Its tail may shoot straight up and get stiff. That’s a greeting signal. Kittens do it around their real mother, often when they want her to check their rear end. With you, it means something like: “Mom’s here. Good.”

Cats also rub against your legs for a reason that’s more interesting than simple affection. Yes, they want contact. But they’re also swapping scent with you. Cats have scent glands at their temples, in the corners of their mouths, and at the base of their tails. When they rub you, they’re quietly marking you as family. Later, they may sit down and lick the fur that touched you—basically tasting your scent.

Sometimes a cat will stand up on its hind legs when greeting you. It looks dramatic, but it’s actually a little sad if you think about it. Humans are tall. Cats greet each other face-to-face. You’re too high up. So the cat does a small hop, lifting both front paws off the ground, as if trying to reach your head. Kittens do something similar with their mother. Some cats solve the problem by jumping onto a table or chair so they can rub faces with you properly.

And then there’s the famous belly roll. You walk in, say hello, and your cat flops onto its back, stretches out, yawns, and flicks its tail tip. This is a friendly, trusting move. A cat’s belly is a weak spot. Showing it means: “I trust you.” But that does not always mean: “Please rub my belly.” Reach for it and you may get a quick paw swipe. Cats are protective of that area. Some deeply bonded cats will allow almost anything, but many will still draw the line.

Finally, purring. Most people think purring equals happiness. That’s only part of the story. Cats also purr when they’re in pain, injured, giving birth, or even dying. In those moments, they’re not content at all. A better explanation is that purring is a friendly social signal. It says, “I’m not a threat,” or “I need a friend.” Kittens start purring at about one week old, mostly while nursing. It tells Mom, “Everything’s fine, the milk arrived.” Mother cats purr back to tell the kittens they’re relaxed too. Big cats like lions and tigers can’t do the true two-way purr that house cats do. They can roar. Small cats can’t.